"Here I Am"

“Here am I. Send me.”

We have all heard these words which came from the mouth of the prophet Isaiah. He spoke thus in response to the call of the Lord, offering himself as the man to bring God's word to the nations. It was a hard job, and he knew it would be dangerous. By faith he was able to set aside the fear of what dangers might befall him and trust himself to the the hands of our Lord. Undoubtedly this was an act of courage and of faith; courage to face all of the many trials to come, and faith that the Lord would give him words to say, and protect him from danger. Can we claim the same courage and Faith? I don't know about you, but I certainly wonder about myself.

These passages of the Bible that deal with great men of the faith make me feel so inadequate at times. I cannot be so bold as to claim anywhere near the faith that these men had. I feel like a child, no, an infant in light of these Godly men, and yet the Scriptures promise that we, God's children, shall all be equally glorified in heaven. Have you ever had that strange feeling like you don't deserve anything near what is promised you in the Bible? I know I do. I feel so miserably inadequate sometimes that I ask God why He even bothers trying to keep up with how often I find myself repenting. It is in these times that I realize that it took more than outward courage and faith to say those self-sacrificing words “Here am I. Send me.” It took inward courage and faith.

They seem the same, but to me the two hold separate meanings. Outward courage, as I would describe it, is courage to face physical and spiritual trial for the sake of God's work. Outward faith, then, is faith that God will protect, defend, and provide for you. If you hadn't noticed, that only covers one of two battles that must be fought. It also took inward courage and faith.

I would describe inward courage as the courage to approach a God who you know could squish you like a bug at the moment of His choosing. The courage to present yourself even as a mere servant to the God whom you have so deeply offended that you deserve nothing but hell for eternity. This is a brand of courage that surpasses all reason. Frankly, if you truly have an understanding of the relationship between God and sinful men, you understand that this kind of courage does not exist. There is not a unregenerate man on earth, nor has there ever been who understands his sin against God and what it deserves and still has the courage to approach Him. This is where inward faith comes in.

Knowing that our sins have earned us an eternity of torture and torment we must realize that courage alone will not save us. Left to our own devices we are completely and utterly doomed to hell. We have nothing worthy of salvation in and of ourselves. Inward faith is understanding this. Inward faith is knowing that God should send us to hell. What do we have faith in? We have faith in the work of the only One who could ever cancel our infinite debt. We have faith in the work of Christ. Inward faith, then, is knowing and believing that, through the work of Jesus Christ and His work alone, we are able to stand before God as though we have never sinned. Inward courage, then, can only come as a result of inward faith. This is something that I must daily some to terms with. When I look at my life, it is a wonder why God even bothers to think about me, let alone forgive me and allow me into His presence. Yet, despite all my self-doubt, it is true.

In order to be able to offer yourself to God as Isaiah did, then, you must understand two things. Rather, you must believe two things. First, you must believe that you have been justified through the work of Christ, and are therefore worthy to come into the presence of God by His work alone. Second, you must believe that God will strengthen, sustain, defend, and provide for you while you are in His service. Only after you have come to terms with these truths will you be able in body, mind, and spirit to offer yourself as a living sacrifice to the one who gave His perfect life for your unworthy life.

Note that I said you must believe these things. Believing, for me, is often the hardest part. For all the doubt that I have struggled with in my life, there has never been a time that I have doubted my own unworthiness. Even though I have been raised learning that Christ paid the penalty for all of my sins and that I can never do anything that God cannot forgive, it is still hard to accept that all of the vile, rotten, sinful, wicked things I have done against God and my fellow man are washed “as white as snow.” After all, if I were God, I wouldn't forgive me. Well for all of you readers out there who can relate to anything I have just said, I have some news for you:

YOU ARE NOT GOD.

In fact, the thought that you wouldn't forgive yourself is proof of that. God is far more merciful than you or I can even imagine. Through the blood of Christ your sins (yes, even that sin that no one else knows about and you will never forgive yourself for) are all cast as far from God as the east is from the west. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a really long way. It is God's way of telling you that you need to stop kicking yourself for sins of the past, and look into brightening your future walk with Him. Any sin that you have committed, or ever will commit is paid for, and you, my friend, are debt free.

If you have read and believe all of the above, then give me one good excuse why you should not be crying out as Isaiah did. What is stopping you? I understand completely if you are afraid that you will fail God. I have been there myself, but understand that this a sinful mentality! Not only are you ignoring the fact that you have already been justified before God, but you are belittling the power of the blood of Christ to sanctify if you continually call yourself “unworthy!” Brothers, sisters, children of the living God: there is a fine line between humility and cowardice when it comes to serving God's kingdom. If you repeatedly neglect His call to service claiming unworthiness you call Christs blood a vain sacrifice, and you are a coward. Isaiah was just as human as you and I, but he had understanding. He understood what it meant to have both inward and outward courage and faith, and he understood what it meant to give his life as a living sacrifice. God never demands perfection. He requires men who humbly present themselves as weak vessels made strong only in the work of the God to whom they owe their very souls anyway. It is time we stopped wallowing in our regret and self pity, and started rejoicing in the salvation that has already been won for us. One day we will be rid of this sinful nature we so passionately despise, and will rejoice in all that Christ did through us. What a privilege to be the hands and feet of our living savior; let us not squander what little time we have, but use it to glorify God, and to fully enjoy Him forever.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ.” --Rom. 3:23-24

“Blessed is the man whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.” --Psalms 32:1-2

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” --Gal. 2:20

What Words Cannot Describe

What can we say that will fully describe our love for God? We can call Him God, but what does that really mean? Many people all over the world refer to what they worship as “god”. It is certainly a fitting title, but have you ever had that feeling that “God” simply doesn't cut it? More often than not I find myself searching. Searching for a word that will pour out the emotion that He has given me; a word that will express the love that I owe to my Creator. God. King. Savior. Redeemer. Lord. Most High. Yaweh. Jehovah. Master. Yet for all the beauty and majesty in these names, I feel still that I have not fully expressed that of which God is worthy. I suppose I am not capable of it. Oh, how I wish I were capable of it.

Though often drown out in my wretched, sinful nature that I so desire to put off, the beauty of what God is creating in me pulses though my veins, bringing an inescapable joy that cannot be expressed by words. I guess that's why I am always searching for the right ones. It can only be expressed with love returned to the God, King, Lord, Master, and Creator that loved us enough to redeem us with His perfect blood. Imagine that person that you love the most in the entire world. The one that you would give anything, do anything, be anything for. Can you, in right conscience, say that you feel the same way for God?

Friends, when we hated everything God stood for, loathing His very existence; when we tried to take from God everything we thought He had...

He gave us more than we demanded of Him. He gave us His very Son.

Yet unsatisfied, we betrayed Him, stripped Him and beat him until His flesh was was in ribbons. We nailed Him to a cross and mocked Him as if He hadn't the power to save Himself. It is here and only here that that we may view aright the true wickedness of our nature. It was this sacrifice that bought my salvation. His agony that night as I hung Him on the cross is the reason that I kneel before him and worship at His nail scared feet. Divine perfection poured out for the likes of me? There truly is no wonder, then, why I can never find the words to say. There are some times, however, that I find some deeper expressing of my love in the words of the third verse of my favorite hymn:

And when I think that God, His Son not sparing

Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;

That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,

He bled and died to take away my sin.

Then sings my soul, my savior God, to Thee,

How great Thou art! How great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my savior God, to Thee,

How great Thou art! How great Thou art!

I find so often that the greatest expressions of our love for God come in the simplest of forms. Many words can be beautiful, but heart-felt gratitude is never expressed better than with a few, sincere words. Tonight, tomorrow night, and for the rest of my waking days I want to put God in His proper place as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, though I will never in this life fully comprehend what that means. All I know is that I owe Him everything. All I can say are a few, sincere words that have been repeated since the beginning of time:

“Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good. His love endures forever.” --Psalm 136:1

Everything Pure (Part 2)

Which of my readers has not seen a movie with at least some violence in it? I know I have. I have seen a lot of movies with excessive, pervasive violence. I want to ask the same questions as before. Should we be watching movies with violence in them? Does God care about the violent content of our movies? How should we respond to movies with excessive violence? I will be the first to come forward and say I don't have a solid answer. What I do have is an opinion. Actually, I don't even know that I have a solid opinion. Lets just say I have some thoughts on the matter.

Let us start off with the basics. What is this violent content I am talking about? I think that question is fairly self explanatory. Any movie that has death, torture, or even simple brawling displayed has "violent" content. Why put the violence in the movies? This, too, is simple. People, especially men, like to see it. It is entertaining, and gets your blood pumping. The thrill as the hero is captured enthralls us, and we just can't wait to see him bust out of the prison cell and beat up/kill a few bad dudes, then make his escape. It gets adrenaline pumping. Honestly, the violent content is what sells movies. Without it, many movies would never have been a success. Take the Saw series for example. The Saw movies flaunt grizzly, graphic, torture-like violence, and it is what sells the movies. People obviously like to see it.

Violence, I believe, can be summed up into four categories.
1) Accidental violence, which is arguably not violence at all
2) Violence related to justice being served, e.g. the death penalty or acts of war
3) Violence due to a desire for personal revenge or for spite
4) Violence resulting from mental instability or illness, e.g. violent acts committed by psychopaths and sociopaths.

Accidental violence is in many regularly watched movies. I recall a movie I watched when I was a child; some of you may recognize or remember the movie "No More Baths". In this particular movie, which contains a largely Christian message, a girl falls down and hits her head on a rock. Blood is seen, she is seen crying, and she is taken to the hospital. The cause of this fall was entirely accidental, as it was a dog jumping for the ball that she had just caught that knocked her down. I think it is safe to say that most people would not be offended at such content in a movie. There was no preconceived plot, or otherwise unhealthy motive behind the event, it just happened. I can understand parents wanting to be cautious about what their child sees; even I remember as a 8 year old squirt cringing every time that part of the movie came up, but I doubt anyone would be truly offended.

Moment of Truth: Should we be watching violence caused accidentally in movies?
My Opinion: At parents' discretion, though I see no moral issue whatsoever.

Now we make a bit of a leap. When a man is killed in the name of justice, it is just not the same as when a girl gets bowled over by a dog and bonks her head. I can recall, from limited number of movies that I have seen, graphic hangings, lethal injections gone terribly wrong, and sometimes nothing short of a bullet to the head, blood, gore, and all displayed on camera. All in the name of justice. The content itself is no doubt very intense, but should we be watching it? I think it boils down to one question: Was the act truly just?

Though some would disagree, in the case of justice related violence, I think it crucially important to know the motive of the individual or individuals executing said justice. For example, if the man being put to death has actually committed the crime he is accused of, and if the crime he is accused of is truly one deserving death, that I think what you are observing when the gang of western villains is publicly hanged is less about the violence itself, and more about the message that peace is being restored. Really, the fact that the murderers have been executed in public is a declaration that vengeful, spiteful violence will not be tolerated, and those who are guilty of it will be duly rewarded. Nipping it at the bud, as it were. Fortunately for us, the Bible is not silent on this particular issue.

"For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer." --Romans 13:3-4

It would appear that the Bible is in favor of the death penalty, so long as it is executed with justice in mind. Should we observe it? Well, I suppose that is left up to the personal discretion of the observer; for instance, if the observer thinks he will lose sleep after watching such disturbing content, he may want to avoid it in the future.

Should the convicted be innocent of the crimes he is accused of, nonetheless punished with death, it is a different story. What we have here is either a case of vengeful or spiteful violence, that is if those condemning the innocent man know that he is innocent, or it is what we might classify as "accidental violence", that is if those condemning the innocent man did not know he was innocent. Again, we have a largely motive based scenario. If the latter, and the motives were clean, then I would argue that it is up to the personal discretion of the observer. If the former, than we have a completely separate case that will be discussed momentarily. In general, these same thoughts and conditions may be applied to war.

Moment of Truth: Should we be watching movies that contain justice related violence?
My Opinion: If the motives are clean, and justice is served, than I see no moral issue with it.

We come, then, to violent acts that are committed out of a feeling that one needs to avenge himself or a loved one, and violent acts that are committed to spite someone who has offended the person in question. These acts are of a totally different nature than the ones previously discussed. Instead of being based in a sense of judicial justice, the movie-goer is assaulted with graphic imagery of death that is meant either to satisfy the character's anger and personal need for revenge, or simply because the character, disliking another man, kills him. I begin to doubt the innocence of watching movies filled with this kind of violence.

In the first case we have a man seeking revenge that is not his to take.

“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'” --Romans 12:19

In the second case we have a man directly and deliberately breaking the sixth commandment.

“You shall not murder.” --Exodus 20:13

The Saw movies are a good example of this type of violence. In this grizzly movie series we have one man, called “Jigsaw”, executing his sick sense of justice on wanted criminals. The idea is that these people, serial killers, child rapists, etc. are brought into Jigsaw's little house of horrors, and Jigsaw makes them pay for what they did. In terrible, terrible ways. For the purpose of this blog post only I will give two particular examples.

In the first, a convicted, repeat offender child rapist is chained by all his limbs to a bed, and is under constant, miserable torture. Jigsaw's ominous voice comes over speakers telling him that, because of the acts the man has committed, in order to stop the misery he is experiencing, he must decide whether to push the button at his right hand, which will gouge out his eyes that caused him to lust, or the button on his left, that will tear off all of his limb which actually committed the acts. The man panics, and pushes both.

In the second, a criminal warlord, and a serial killer is strapped to a machine that will inevitably, yet ever slowly crush his head if he does not push his face through a series of razor blades to press a button that will stop the machine. I can't tell you how it ends, because I never finished watching the scene.

While this type of violence seems to satisfy a skewed sense of justice for what these men did, we must remember that this character named Jigsaw has no authority other than what he has given himself, and therefore cannot truly or rightly execute true justice on these men. What he is doing is purely vengeful, thus he is breaking the biblical command not to take vengeance. These men truly deserve punishment, and strict punishment at that, but what the Saw series displays is far from the biblical definition of justice. When we hear what the men have done, it is naturally to be very angry. It is right to be angry. What is not right is acting on this anger. The Bible, in Ephesians warns us not to sin while we are angry. This is one very good example of what happens we we act in our anger. We take Justice from the hands of our authorities, and we take vengeance from the hands of God. Placing both in our own, feeble, unworthy, unable hands, we commit atrocities equal to those of the men we seek to punish.

Why, then, do we enjoy sitting through two hours of this type of chaotic, bloody vengeance and end by calling it a “good movie”? It is far from “good”. Spiteful vengeance is the way of the world. It is the way of life that we have put off through the transforming of our minds. God is working to sanctify us, and it seems that we work against Him when we sit back and “enjoy” a movie filled with the breaking of God's commands.

Moment of Truth: Should we be watching movies filled with spiteful, vengeful violence?
My Opinion: We should not.

Finally we come to the fourth category of violence; that committed due to mental instability or mental illness. As an example for this I will use “The Silence of the Lambs”, “Hannibal”, and “Hannibal Rising”, which is a movie series based on the acts of a man named Hannibal Lector; a cannibal and both a psychopath and a sociopath. In this movie series violent acts include the slitting of major arteries, men being eaten alive by animals, shootings, and of course cannibalism.

There is one main difference between this type of violence and the other types, and that is that there is no perceivable motive behind the killings in such movies. Maybe the villain feels like he has been wronged by society as a whole, and it out for blood. This would fall under my third category of violence. Pleasure, perhaps. Maybe the mentally unstable villain takes delight in watching his countless victims suffer for a bit before finishing them off while all of the movie-goers cringe and cover their eyes. Maybe the villain is vexed by an insatiable desire for blood that he just cannot explain; he feels the physical need to kill.

Frankly none of these are acceptable reasons for taking the life of another man, so should we be watching movies that contain this type of violence simply because we consider the movies to be entertaining?

Why do we watch movies? Because we find them either enjoyable and entertaining or educational. Unless we are forced, we do not watch movies that do not fall into one of those categories. So... which is it? Do we find the mindless killing of innocent human beings for the sake of personal pleasure entertaining and enjoyable? How about educational? It most certainly isn't educational. I begin to wonder if this is any different that attending the ancient arena fights, where to men would kill each other for the pleasure of the onlookers.

Moment of Truth: Should we be watching movies with violence due to mental instability?
My Opinion: I report, you decide. What do YOU think?

We cannot escape violence in today's entertainment, be it cartoon character thumping each other on the heads with hammers or psychopaths brutally slaughtering all who step in their way. While some I believe is justified, other movies are sending nothing but wrathful, vengeful messages to the public, and typically they are justified in some skewed way. Is it really a wholesome use of our time to be planting ourselves in front of the television to be indoctrinated with these hateful spiteful messages?

I don't really know. All I have is an opinion. I just think out loud; you have to decide for yourself.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” --Ephesians 4:22-24

Everything Pure (Part 1)

I like movies. There is nothing for it. Every week I spend time watching movies that I could be spending on other, more constructive things. I'm sure we all do. I have been thinking a lot lately about positive and negative aspects of this pass-time. I could beat around the bush and go on about how I come to thinking about these things, but I would rather get right to a simple question: What movies are okay, and what movies are sinful?

This is quite a large can of worms to be opening up all at once. If you are anything like me, you don't like opening it in the first place, because it could lead you to the conclusion that your favorite movie of all time is actually sinful to watch. I can't help it. I think about everything.

What kind of movies do you like? I don't know about you, but I like the scary ones. There is almost unfailingly bad language and gory deaths in the movies I like. I make great efforts to avoid the ones with sexual content in them. For me, if I walk out of that theatre looking over my shoulder to make sure no rabid monsters are chasing me, I have thoroughly enjoyed the movie. I have no problem with the scary part. If I, or anyone for that matter, feel like getting scared for fun, I see nothing wrong with it. It is the language and death that make me think. Is it really okay to watch seventeen people die bloody deaths through the course of a movie? Does God give no thought to the foul language used by the characters every two minutes?

Let's start with the language. Is it wrong to watch a movie with swearing? Most Christians would say yes, it is. I guess I could be counted in the "I have an opinion, but I'm liable to change it" list. What is in a word? A better worded question is what is the significance of a word. If I were to run up to you and shout "fire", what would cross your mind? More than likely you would picture a house burning down, and possibly become concerned, depending if I sounded serious or not. The significance of the word is what it means to you. It is significant because it conveys the message I am trying to get across to you. A word is a method of communicating a thought, idea, or an emotion to the listener. Beyond the implication, or meaning, the rest is simply grammatical context and a few letters.

What if I ran up to you, shouted "You're stupid, get away from me!" in your face, and walked away? What would cross your mind? You would probably be seriously offended, upset, and angry at me for being so rude. Why? Because I conveyed to you a message that was hurtful, cruel, and uncalled for. I offended you, and you would have a right to be mad. What about the word? Did the word "stupid" have anything to do with it? Some might say yes, but consider an alternative to my approach. What if, in the same scenario previously mentioned, I walked up to you and calmly said "You lack any form of intelligence, and can do nothing right. I do not like you, and want nothing to do with you. Good day." Would you feel any different than when I shouted the word "stupid"? Probably not. I conveyed the same message, simply through different means.

I am riding my bicycle at 20 mile per hour, and suddenly realized that I am about to run a poor, unsuspecting old lady over and have no time to react. I shout "Oh my goodness!" and plow into the lady. Setting aside the poor, injured senior citizen, would anyone call me a bad person for shouting "Oh my goodness"? Of course not! I was surprised! What if I had shouted "Oh shit!"? Then would people be offended? Of course they would, but why? I conveyed the same message, simply using different means. Instead of shouting about my goodness I shouted about poop. Sure, poop is disgusting, but is there anything inherently wrong with it? Not really; everyone does it. Some people are disgusted by throwing up, and "puke" is not a bad word. If I had used the word in reference to you, that would be a different story. I would once again be conveying a hurtful message, which is wrong.

I concur, then, that it is the meaning behind any given word that makes it inherently "bad" or "good". If you start condemning certain letter combinations it becomes a bit legalistic in my humble opinion. It is merely the spirit behind the word that is evil, because a word, in and of itself is inanimate. It can be neither good nor evil.

What then? Am I condoning a foul mouth? Certainly not! (I thought I'd go for a bit of a Pauline feel there.) Many people, in fact most people are offended by swearing. I am one of those people if it is done in extreme excess. However, as I said before, can the words themselves be bad? Not really.

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall." --Rom. 14:19-21

Food was the example Paul chose to use. It was the controversy of the day. Foul language may be compared to it. There is inherently nothing wrong with the words, but the affect they have on other people, especially Christians, is negative, and it then becomes a sin. This, I would say, makes it wrong in almost any case for a Christian. Further, if your parents tell you not to swear and you do, it is a sin. Most of our parents would tell us not to.

There are, however, certain words that I believe are unfit for conversation. Any foul word that is affiliated with sexuality or sex organs is unfit for normal conversation. This is what I believe the Bible defines as course talk.

In movies, for the most part I see nothing wrong with language. The people on the screen are saying the words, not you. If you are offended by them, don't watch the movie. Problem solved. If you are prone to repeating what you hear, it is probably best to keep away from the exposure. One could argue that the character is using the words with the wrong spirit behind them, thus making them wrong. This is true, but if you think thus, I suggest avoiding any movie in which people talk when they are angry. It is the spirit, not the words. You will find a sinful spirit behind many "innocent" words in any movie you watch. It is exactly the same thing.

In conclusion, then, I would encourage you by saying that if you have ever said a "bad" word, as long as your spirit was right and you didn't offend anyone, I seriously doubt you sinned. How much less a sin is it then to simply hear the words? If the script of a movie you choose to watch contains foul language, I wouldn't worry too much about it, as long as you are okay with it personally.

This concludes Part one of my three part post entitled "Everything Pure". In the next post I will cover the issue of graphic and/or pervasive violence, and in the final section I will take an over-all look at it from a strictly biblical viewpoint. Who knows? I might change my own mind. Only time and much thought will tell.

Best Foot Forward

Life is surely an interesting experience. One day can seem like the best day of your life, while the next can seem like the you are descending into the grave. My life is no different. I'm am not, however, here to rejoice over the good days and complain about the events of the bad ones. Life is too short to treasure the good half, trying to forget all of those days that didn't go as planned. From the earliest memory you can conjure up to the latest event that has taken place in your life, remember this: you only have one chance at this. Learn from your mistakes, and cherish your good memories. Only then can you transition into the rest of the life God has for you.

This comes to mind all too frequently lately.

Somehow I forget that the sheltered life I have lived with my parents--along with all of its mistakes and memories--is about to come to an abrupt close. I say "sheltered" with complete love for my parents, and gratitude that they raised me the way they did. I could not have asked God for a better childhood than I have been blessed with. I am having a little trouble with the thought of giving it up in four months.

I love my life. I love my family. I love my church. I love my school. I love the crowd of hands that rush to pick me up when I fall. I love the undying love that is shown to me no matter what I do. It is all right here. I live surrounded in it. I never want to give it up. While I know that I can never escape that love, the course of life, getting older, and going out on my own drags me ever further from the range of its immediate effects. Yet life goes on, uninterrupted by the longings of yet another young man who is daunted by the prospect of leaving the only shelter he has ever known. Though I understand that I can never truly leave that shelter, I am about to willingly walk away from the crowd of hand that pick me up when I fall. I'll have myself and God. One would think that God's presence would eliminate all fear of the unknown. It doesn't. It offers all the necessary comfort, but nothing can remove that little twinge of fear. I know what I want, I simply need to reach out and grab it when the time is right. That time has almost come, and I don't feel ready. I suppose, though, I would never truly feel ready.

I want the military. I know I will love it, but I just get a little uneasy with the time frame it gives me between now and never living in the comfort of my father's home again. My goal is to sign before graduation in three months. Once signed, I could leave for basic training as early as fourteen days after graduation. Other people get to go to college. Other people get the comfort of a family still supporting them physically, be it in little ways. I get a plane ticket out of state, and a life-consuming career starting shortly after the twelve week long basic training course. I am looking forward to it immensely. I want to fight for my country. I guess it is just initially putting my best foot forward that is so hard.

Every young ship captain is uneasy as he puts his hands to the helm and gazes out into that red sunrise, knowing all too well that he will shortly be conquering tumultuous, wind-driven waves. He has done it many times before, but this time is different. This time he does not have his steady, experienced captain guiding his hand through the waves that seek to pull him under. This time he is the captain. This time he has to decide the best way to weather the storm. I have spent my life being trained at the helm by various captains. Each has taught me how to navigate the path I am to follow, and how to find it again should I lose it. They have faithfully done their part, now it is time for me to do mine. Now I have to show them that their work was not in vain, and that I am ready to handle the storms of life myself.

The time is right. The morning sky looms an ominous red in the distance. I plant my feet firmly on the deck, and grasp the helm tightly with both hands. I stare off into the sunrise, listening to the water lap rhythmically on the hull of my ship, christened the Christian Worldview. Steeling myself for the fight to come, I pray for the presence of mind to guide myself through the coming storm, and the wisdom to remember that every wave was specially designed by God to train me to be the man He wants me to be. Come, then, what may. Neither this, nor any other tempest to come can change my destination. I leave the hedge of thorns set for my protection by my loving parents, and set my sights on the gates of heaven. God has promised to guide me through the many obstacles that lie between; I have nothing to fear.

"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness." --Lamentations 3:22-23

Death of a Legend, Birth of a Blog

Today the legend of music and dance, Michael Jackson, met his maker, for better or for worse. Although some of us will miss him, most of us are just glad to be rid of him. Wherever you stand, let us all remeber that another soul faces his eternal reward. It is truly a sobering thought.

Welcome to Red Dawn. Consider this a looking glass into the world as I see it, dark and dismal though it may be. Life is good, and I can't complain, but I see nothing new under the sun, and therefore nothing good on the horizon for this old world. We watch and wait for something better to come along, but it usualy only gets a little worse. They say when a sailor sees a red horizon in the morning storms are brewing, so consider me a sailor, and the world... well... the red horizon.

Nonetheless I remain optimistic and enjoy life as it comes. Along with my personal opinion concerning the demise of human culture as we know it you will also find tidbits of my life, adventures, and upcoming events. Let us then put Michael Jackson, along with all others lost at sea behind us, and look ahead, taking this crazy life one tidal wave at a time. Welcome aboard my ship, and I suggest you hold on tight!